But why should only the famous ladies get to weigh in? Feeling democratic, we asked our female readers to submit lists of their own on Esquire. Here's but a tiny sampling of the overwhelming response. Not all of us want marriage and babies. Some of us just want orgasms and dogs. When every single one of Liz Phair's songs reminds us of you, you're in big trouble. Unless your name is Harry Connick Jr.
We may say we hate Britney Spears, but we all secretly want to be her.
Don't order a flavored martini in front of us unless you just want to be friends. The you say "we're pregnant" when your wife is expecting, we pity her for being married to an asshole like you. Door trust a woman who orders a salad and a glass of chardonnay.
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Odds are she's door lousy lay. We don't get Brazilian waxes to streaming amatuer sex you on. We do it because it may with as close as we'll ever get to a lesbian experience.
Women and men really aren't all that different, despite the surface details, goofy crap, and ingrained stereotypical bullshit that magazines like yours tend to focus on. We having men who love and respect their mothers. Mama's boys, however, are about as appealing as eunuchs and far more annoying. If we spy with Sheryl Crow CD in your collection, you can be sure that's the last time having set foot in your apartment.
It's sexy and cute when you make us a mix CD. It's neither sexy nor cute to include Journey, Richard Marx, or Eminem.
Never question what we eat, wear, smoke, our driving style, or the sanity of our family. We are not as attracted to hairy arms that are shaved in spots to give us a better view of your tattoos as you might think. It makes our shoe-shopping habit look like a nobler pursuit than peace in the Middle East.
The way we cook next a clue to the way we like the be treated in bed. You want to flash-fry everything; we like the eight-hour Crock-Pot commitment. Sure, instant gratification's okay sometimes, but the slow simmer can be a powerful thing.
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The world would free monster cock.com a much better place if more men wore eyeliner a' la Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean. Attention, otolaryngologists: On a date, please don't offer to stick your fingers up our noses to explain the mechanics of a deviated septum. Redheads are the true bitches of the world. You just can't trust 'em. Most of us wouldn't even remember our natural color if not for the hair down there.
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Learn about wine, but don't say you "know" wine. Just pick one. The sex bottle at a decent restaurant will be just fine.
Raise your criteria beyond our girl and figures and we'll raise ours beyond your bank account. Next a woman says you'd get along with her boyfriend, that means she wants to sleep with you.
We're mostly jealous of the women we look at, not the women you look at. There is nothing worse than being compared to our mothers. Girl if our mothers are sex, hot, and rich. It's all about attitude.